remember happy?

i am freezing cold. i went outside to my car, heard a review of the debut album from the trucks. i have never heard of the trucks before. another girlie punk band. i like how i became the bomb. i like the website. i don't know much from the shins but saw them on saturday night live. i thought the shins were supposed to be punk, how did i come up with that persception. i wonder if i could be a music critic?

i did not get around to working on the yellow paper quilt collage this weekend. i did however make a list on saturday morning and accomplished everything on that list. all except baking my junglegym chocolate chip cookies. i will save that chore for tuesday or wednesday night. laundry piles up as if i had a family of five. piles of magazines need to be organized. and my bills needed to be paid. afterall it is the beginning of march. funny.

i had a conversation on the telephone with my mom last week. at one point i told her that i was alright, really alright and that i needed to remember to remind myself that i am actually very happy. my mom laughed at me. and she's told me since that i needed to post along the lines of our conversation. i do not know if posting all of this is all that important. nevertheless, i am very quick to forget what it is i am happy about. joy is stolen from me, as if i'm mugged around every corner. i am to blame though. solely responsible. because i walk around with my ears tuned to hear the impossible, the critic, and the struggle. it is a focus not really worth living for, to chalk it up. a focus revolving around my relationships and my art and jobs are really worth living for. the small minute victories there between the lines i live.

i'd like to think and discuss more of the possibilities. my mom and i would like to collaborate and write:illustrate a children's book. my mother is going to be a grandmother for the first time in her life in a few short months. i will be an aunt and so there are these new little people that are going to enter our lives and we are a family of readers, writers, artists, builders, and healers. what will our legacy be?

i see myself becoming more involved with the art community in chattanooga. i do not know how it will happen or when but there are more and more possibilities opening up everyday.

***i am happy because i grew up safely. without domestic violence, alcohol or drug abuse. i am happy that i wasn't neglected or orphaned. i am happy because i never broke a bone or had to get stitches. i am happy that i have my own car, my own apartment, my new cellphone. all of the stupid little things like my bird collection and button collection, and tiny things collection make me happy. and music from out of the woodwork makes me happy. i even like wearing my grey coat inside because it makes me warm and happy. what makes you really happy?

*there you have it*

okay so it has taken me a little longer than i told you that it would, to complete the Blue Paper Quilt Collage. to begin with i had some trouble coming up with the right drawings, then the paintmarkers were being fairly stubborn. this go around i pencil drew the sunshine and welcome tree first, then went over it with blue ink, added the paintmarker color, went over the blue ink a second time, then the paintmarker again. fine lines are really vital, my goal is for the collage to look as though it has been printed or manipulated on the computer. i am not about to critique, i'll leave that to you.

i am just as happy with my second in the second series, as i am in the pink&red. last night after work i even got around to preparing my next canvas board for the yellow&"hint o' green" paper quilt collage. this process is going really really smoothly. i cannot wait to pursue colors beyond just the primary. yellow will be a challenge, just because i don't know how much yellow paper i've got collected. all and all i haven't had to purchase anything, it has all been about recycle, reuse, renew!!! hahaw!

i feel like such a dork. i wanted to mention that i will not be putting any of my new work up for sale quite yet. i am saving one piece for someone who has already expressed interest. and the rest i am storing up for a possible future exhibit. at the time of the exhibit-when it happens i will do my best to give everyone a fair opportunity to purchase. that is if there happens to be a high demand.

as already mentioned; and to add to my dorkiness; i have been officially invited to the month of may, to participant in the lovely Paper Quilt Project. i cannot express how happy i am. how utterly humble i feel. by just looking at the other artists that i have the honor to share the month with i'm overwhelmed. i suppose to some it may not be that big of a deal but i do have the deep desire to be recognized for my talent and gift. most of all i want to share, give and express my thankfulness and joy through my art, through creating. the paper quilt project was a small goal, a small dream, hidden away in the recesses of my brain, a chance that i wanted to try and achieve. it may not mean that all of a sudden my art "takes off", but it gives me a feeling of great accomplishment. if nothing else i will have given my very best. a small glimmering light. peace in this cat heart.

waking in the dark

i dislike waking up in the morning and it being dark outside still. i feel fragile in the morning, most of the time i wake up extremely grumpy and cannot imagine what it must be like to wake up with a husband and children. i know that most of my lifestyle would have to change if all of a sudden there were other people in the morning. i enjoy loading the dishwasher in the morning. i make a pot of coffee every three days or so and i microwave a cup at a time. i try and take a twenty six minute nap between my first job and my second job. i only drink soy milk. it is more expensive but it lasts and lasts, much longer than moo milk.

i am really really really excited about a future participation opportunity in the paper quilt project. i know it sounds dorky but i really care alot about what is going on here on the great big www. i like the paper craft community and all the greatness it has to offer. my most recent inspiration, as of today, aaron tucker. he seems to like squares too. i want some snap cups!!! seen first at happy mundane and then on d*s.

i only recently began going to a new hair salon, my hair dressers name is jenny. i used to cut and dye my hair all of the time. i have never had my nails done acrylic style. and i went to little five in atlanta once and bought a bottle of electric blue hair dye. never bleached or permed before, it looked old and grey. much like the photo above. i worked a tad more on the welcome tree last night. i have nothing to show for it yet. i was too busy watching television, catching up with oprah's school in south africa. unga bunga. i am already looking forward to the weekend. i cannot wait. i have been listening to the decemberists like a mad woman.

WIP:Blue&Brown Paper Quilt Collage

this morning as i was getting into my car, and my car door attacked me. ouch!!! the corner top of the door cut about a half inch gash at the edge of my left eyebrow. i wish that i could cry real tears and not just the "ooo that hurt, my eyes are watering". when my car hurts me i have a tendency to think it is because i am short, it's a good thing i've got a tiny car. i now have a quarter sized bump, and a bruise is appearing slightly now. i have to believe my day and the rest of the week will only get better.

i worked a really long day on saturday, ten hours at the rx. six on sunday. regardless i managed to find the time to make some progress on the newest blue&brown paper quilt collage. i have yet to finish two drawings, the first, a welcome tree in the bottom right hand corner, and then some more of my "eyeball" flowers in the grey squared square. i spent more time laying the pieces together for this collage. i have thought about what i'd like the viewer to experience or feel. i imagine this piece to be more about building or architecture. even though i use images, like the ballerinas, they don't necessarily mean anything. it is more about where they are placed as well as the form they make up and what relation they have to the other pieces of the collage. for instance their little hands are lined up with the grey square diagonal. a little secret of mine: i think about a spiral and the golden mean. it isn't all random, it is very thought out and precise. really. i should beable to finish the drawings tonight and have the complete quilt with photos tomorrow or the next day.

i off to surf and eat okra.

WIP:it real good:baby blue paper quilt collage

i don't mention inspiration as often as i used to because there is so much of it everywhere i surf. i enjoy the fact that everytime i turn around yet another craft-art-graphic design blog surfaces upon the horizon. it is a show and tell world, the freshest, newest, most creative are featured regularly-everyday. how are we ever to become bored?

once i told my friend, very quickly and quietly that i was bored of looking at the same things {at the time everyone was on a blogging fast-no new posts}. i am glad that feeling moved on and i've not felt that way again. reading about stephanie's eggcellent adventures, i became especially interested in the color choices and shapes of her baby blue birds egg shapes. i am learning to take my paper craft slowly, laying things out, much like i would if i were sewing.

have a good weekend you all. take care. and btw thank you so much for all of the supportive words, encouraging thoughts and comments. i have been thinking about you all, hoping that in someway my paper quilts might bring brightness, light and inspiration to each of you.