aside from this little boy becoming apart of my life i feel like i've taken a break, not one purposefully. just so haphazardly i suppose. i long to have the evenings off. it is shocking i know but i am now finally aware of the toll having two jobs has taken on me. i don't feel like battling the torn feeling i get when family and work pulls at me. i am beginning to feel numb about it all. i must be honest about the transistion i find myself in though, and a good transition. in many ways, shapes and forms i am finding through help, a new me, a new line of thought and need to just relax. it's difficult to explain, especially because i'd like the real important stuff to stay well close. but the big things are as you all know already. quitting cvs. quitting smoking. joining a gym. making art and having a total of 8 paper quilts published. there are two commissions that must be completed and i'm struggling with time. like i said the war with time has been going on for about three years now. i also am learning to take action and to well, think more positively. it isn't really all that natural of me to be so happy and cheerful and exploding with joy, but simply smiling at people has been a challenge as of late. a challenge i really ought to practice.
finally i am just so thankful that caleb has found his way into his parents arms. i mean what else can i ask for? have a wonderful weekend. i cannot promise anything but hopefully i'll be back with some completed art...uh?