i cherish every friday. fridays at work are often more relaxed and filled with interesting conversation and catch up news from the week. i have noticed in myself something, getting better, probably a growing happiness. its rare for me to feel a little bit of joy and not know exactly where it's coming from. i know that the sweet alternative to chocolate or gummie bears are my favorite spice cookies. i made my second batch in a month, spicy little rounds of soft cookie, umm. when the dough is spread thin and cut into shapes the cookies become crunchy and fit for the christmas time type of cookie but during these months of lowering temps, the softer side of this cookie reminds me more of halloween and thanksgiving. i tend to make myself sick on them. i barely have any regrets about it though. after all i am back to a little more exercise these days.

i am currently conducting a serious stand off with my laundry. and continue to think that breakfast tomorrow with my dad is going to be so nice. i guess after this week is over i'll get back to making stuff. i was kind of waiting to see how life and the trees i have created so far, were going to pull me. i am thinking i've got a few more trees in me and i've not yet tapped the wealth of growth and variation by making more trees. whats more i haven't even begun to do trees at night, a whole other story and forest approach.

the inspiration continued this week when i received my copy of 3191 in the mail. i think i found a little bit of myself in the book and what a surprise. i dunno if it's stupid of me or not, i barely care but, on toward the back of this delightful celebration of a book, i believe i found amidst the comments, a comment i made in april 07 in response to one of the photo comps. i recall writing and thinking about how the word "enjoy" just did not feel as good as the word "in" joy as a way to describe how i felt about this specific diptych. i guess in some senses that is how i have begun to feel about looking at my own life. to enjoy feels a little less. what enjoy has to offer is more like a command and to say i am enjoying something feels a lot like having to try really hard. but "in" joy i feel like i have more get up and go about the whole of life. you have to be in it to "in" joy it. and too, i feel like it is "in" joy that i ought to be more thankful and to be less apathetic about jumping into life, whatever that may be from day to day. my week did not feel so mundane but i know that i've felt the enormity of monotonous tasks and the weight of having to be and do something. i have also begun to consider the fact that having joy and "in"joying is a serious choice and it must be made everyday. no joke about it. with that i'm off to either sit and watch televison or do laundry, or maybe both.